Herding Cats

My frustrations with the left wing in America are about to make me explode. It's one thing for the right wing to be selfish, greedy, ignorant, stupid, and just generally full of assholiness, but when the left wing doesn't seem to have enough balls among the whole herd to assemble even one pair, I begin to really lose it! Here are the top ten things that chap my butt:

10. No matter how unlikely it may seem, the left wing Democrats always seem to find a way to rip a devastating loss out of a sure-thing victory.

9. Cable television has become so godawful that I can no longer see straight.

8. Get Geithner and Summers out of there and replace them with Robert Reich and Paul Krugman NOW!

7. Stop the War on Drugs NOW! The kitty isn't hurting anyone by hauling a little weed around in his trunk.

6. Liberal was never on George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words list, so quit acting like little sissy girls every time a right-wing a-hole calls you one.

5. The intelligent, not the right, wing controls Congress and The White House, so quit acting like wimps! (See #6 above, too.)

4. Support President Obama. He is our President and we do not want him to fail, so act like it.

3. Bring down that lying Wicked Witch of Wasilla NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week, NOW! She is absolutely nothing more than a greedy, narcissistic abomination of a liar. She is a pawn of the Christian Mafia. Babybate, Housegate, Planegate, Boogate, Troopergate, Dairygate, Ethicsgate - the list is endless. Don't act like you don't know this, either.

2. Recognize what CNN and the rest of the mainstream media have become and rise up against them all. They have sold their souls to the corporations. There is nothing else to say. We must stop watching and listening to them. We must denigrate them at every turn. We must stop believing their lies. The enemy is not in the Middle East. It is in NYC and Washington, D.C., and its name is CNN.

1. America cannot win The Civil War. If we do not call a halt to this culture-war slap-fight, we shall join the dinosaurs in the tar pits. We must work together to pull ourselves out of the corporate, cultural, economic, environmental muck.