Assholiness Validation

Let's just call it AV for short. The thought occurred to me the other day that this phrase states the case quite succinctly. Back in the '50's we used to sometimes use a phrase, The Ugly American. The smirking chimpette you see here is the final distillation of that concept of the dark underbelly of what Americans, at least some of us, have always hidden quietly away in our souls. Americans can be the most arrogant hogs in the world, the true of pigs of the universe hogging resources, starting wars, trashing the planet, abusing animals, and generally trying to be the boss of everyone and everything that is not precisely the same sort of pig. It's okay for us to do all this because we are Christians. We are God's chosen people. Jesus? Who's he? There is only one Bible. You know the one I'm talking about, the version with all the hate-mongering, killing, torture, and general holier-than-thou exclusionism. The only version of The Good Book I like is the one where you are all going to hell, but I'm not!

The problem is that they are all in on it. All the cable news networks, all the old-guard newspapers, and even the well-heeled blog sites just want a piece of the pie. Tell any lie? How much will it pay me? If I just forget about carrying out any genuine investigative journalism and spew whatever pack of lies you feed me, you will pay me five million dollars a year? Is that the deal?

There are millions of Americans who will say or do anything for money. There are millions more who will accept any bullcrap as the truth if it allows them to bury their own conscious thoughts in a morass of obfuscation and sound bites. Please give me permission, Oh Lord, to be the biggest a-hole on the planet while I continue to watch Fox News on my 52-inch Sony with the Big Theater Sound. Please bless me tomorrow when I am forced to see homos and Lesbians loose on the street. Watch over me at my job where the boss insists on hiring dark people and paying them that disgracefully high minimum wage they don't deserve. Please stand guard over my Lexus in the parking lot while I am at work, and don't forget to keep an eye on my 4000-square-foot home in my gated Christian community. Last of all, Lord, I ask that you make sure that our un-American, socialist President does not get elected for a second term. Like all good Christian Americans, I want Your Designated Queen to be our President.

Why doesn't The Queen just confess to the deception of Babygate? She could tell her subjects that she had felt so moved by seeing that sweet little Down Syndrome baby that she just had to adopt him and give him the good home he would not have otherwise had. She could have said the birth mother was dead, a drug addict, a sinner, or whatever, and patted herself on the back for doing a good deed. Why did she not do that? Adoption does not ring the bells of this new breed of the misnomer, Jesus freaks. That's what we used to call them back in the good old days, but Jesus had nothing to do with the development of the deeply black heart of this new type of all-American Christian. Jesus was The Hippy Dippy Weatherman compared to these freaks! The new breed is all about power, greed, selfishness, punishment, and exclusion, not to mention a few dozen additional negative energies. They care nothing for the Christ-like attributes of adoption, so the concept that The Queen actually adopted a baby is quite meaningless to them. All they care about is the devilish concept that The Queen could have aborted a less than perfect child and did not. The devil is in the details: you cannot abort what is not in your body.