The Top Ten Reasons Cable TV Sucks!
10. Annoying logos and colorful, moving advertising flashing across the screen during programs
9. Movies that have already been previously shown numerous times repeated back-to-back, as if there was still some schmuck who had not yet seen them
8. The same syndicated sitcom episodes shown back to back, one after another, in series of four or more
7. Seemingly endless commercial breaks of twelve or fourteen commercials in sequence
6. Cookie-cutter, totally predictable, made-for-TV movies of good-woman-meets-bad-man plot for women and computer-generated-monster-gets-loose for men
5. Sports with more replays from every angle followed by endless jabbering commentary than actual game
4. Political commentary shows in which everybody tries to yell over everybody else
3. Reality shows
2. The even sleazier reality shows that are nothing more than a sexual tease for morons
1. The endless Michael Jackson, Caylee Anthony, Anna-Nicole Smith, O. J. Channel!
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